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Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad

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A collection of short stories, structured as case-studies, and a form of love letter in solidarity with the women who have survived romantic relationships with men in Lagos….it deftly analyses the various archetypes women are likely to encounter in the dating scene in the city – from serial cheaters, to mummy’s boys, from the ‘fake it till you make it’ adherents to the ones who can’t commit.

This book underscores with wit, humour, wisdom, and sensitivity the perils of trying to find lasting love and companionship in Africa’s craziest city that will prove universal and illuminating.

Paperback

First published March 19, 2024

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Damilare Kuku

2 books322 followers

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5 stars
2,100 (37%)
4 stars
2,137 (37%)
3 stars
1,076 (18%)
2 stars
227 (4%)
1 star
134 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 976 reviews
Profile Image for JustJJ.
168 reviews110 followers
June 5, 2024
Blog | Instagram

Rating: 4 stars

'Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad' was a quick and enjoyable read, with twelve different drama-filled short stories.
Similar read: How to Kill Men and Get Away With It by Katy Brent


Cover: 🌟🌟🌟
Besides the title, this simple design does not reveal much about the book's contents, but the bright yellow background is eye-catching.

"Some things are easier to have than to hold on to, you get? Like wealth. Like friendship. Like love."

Writing: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
I was impressed by the different styles and perspectives used for each short story. These were smoothly executed, with light-hearted satire that made the book more entertaining, even though it did not make me laugh out loud. The cultural and setting details woven into the stories were also a great touch that I enjoyed.
 
Storyline: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
The twelve distinct stories unfold at a good pace as they delve into the complex world of modern dating and the crazy antics of both men and women, despite the book's title. While the constant affairs and cheating got a little repetitive, some stories had surprising twists that I enjoyed. However, the graphic sex scenes soon became a bit too much for me.

"Life has few coincidences."

Main character(s): 🌟🌟🌟🌟
The various characters at the centre of these stories seemed well-written since they had rich personalities and showcased different relationship dynamics. These characters also had some complexity, being neither all good nor bad, and I found myself rooting for some despite their questionable actions.
 
Secondary characters: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
A good mix of secondary characters helped drive each story, and their contributions to the various twists made them memorable, even though they generally had little depth.

"knowing your enemy is the first step to destroying them."

Narration & Audio: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
Anniwaa Buachie and Thabang Makhubela did a great job narrating these stories. I especially loved the character voices they used to enrich the listening experience and how their voices matched the gender of the narrative voice for each story. However, the accents and Yoruba language did not always sound smooth or natural.
Profile Image for BookOfCinz.
1,502 reviews3,201 followers
March 7, 2022
Kuku's collection of short stories is a great reminder that some of these men are MAD! Honestly, the collection wasn't as diverse as I wanted it to be- but then again, the title told us exactly what to expect. I wished some of the stories had more depth to them but overall I would recommend this to anyone who is in a reading rut and looking for a good laugh!
Profile Image for Ojo.
292 reviews122 followers
January 8, 2022
In the light of the lengthy trail of praise odes following Damilare Kuku's book, it would be a strategic error to not delve into its pages, and at least discover the reason for the hype.

Nearly All The Men in Lagos Are Mad is a collection of short stories, written mostly from the POV of embittered women who've been cheated in dramatic circumstances by callous, promiscuous and self-gratifying men.

We see harrowing tales of betrayals, double-lives and hard truths, as experienced and seemln through the eyes of women who are in turn damaged, lovingly innocent, and vindictive.

At a point, the POVs switch to the males in the stories, but the message remains the same: Lagos men take stupidly selfish decisions regarding love and sex.

Despite featuring a title that I suspect to be slightly sexist, the story exhibits none of the sexist prejudices that I imagined it would have, despite most of the folk I know who've read and enjoyed it so far being women.

The issues raised are real ones. More than half of the time, women are on the receiving end of bad decisions and selfish acts by men. Nevertheless, this is far from being a "Lagos men" issue, as the author seems to portray.

While Lagos, Yoruba, and indeed,Nigerian men have their peculiarities, many of which are far from gentlemanly or chivalrous, the sustenance of moral decadence in a generation that sees sex as a commodity, is bound to result in unfortunate eventualities, of which women tend to bear most of the brunt.

It is a result of a culture of convoluted traditional ideals desperately seeking to find a place for itself in the global, "Western" cultural scene. As a result, the very proponents of this culture, the new generation, are trapped in a cycle of hurt, uncontrolled lust and distended emotional capability.

So, it is not surprising when a man dates a woman for years, treating her as his one and only, while being secretly married to a woman he respects enough to keep away from his concubine.The irony...

The polygamous inclinations of African men are deeply explored in this book, as is their propensity to find logic in double-standards.

What may be underreported in other reviews of this book, is the tendency of the fairer species to make terrible decisions where matters of the heart are concerned.

But, these are not new issues. Neither are they unique, in today's world. They are just a reminder of how morally decadent we have allowed ourselves to be; we wallow in a quagmire, splashing mud all around, without first wondering when solid ground became sinking sand.

It is a call to reason, and an appeal to a return to times when the sons of men made rational decisions independent of the influence of hormone-inspired intercourse.

So, this is not really a story about Lagos men, so to speak. I doubt there's anything particularly unique about "Lagos men" to write about. In that case, I suppose the title of the book is the author making a play at publicity, which she clearly has achieved.

Instead, the story is about the fickleness of humanity, the privileged men who display their callousness most of all, and the underprivileged women who suffer for actions and bad choices.

A compelling read, but it gets two stars less from me: one for the use of "Nigerian English", and a second for a thoroughly misleading book title.

Excellent all-round, otherwise.
Profile Image for Amy.
5 reviews14 followers
January 5, 2022
I honestly never know how to rate short stories. Some of the stories felt rushed and fell flat. Ode-pus complex, Beard gang and I knew you were quite enjoyable to read. Overall,it was a good read.
Profile Image for Chipego (pagedbypego) .
121 reviews11 followers
August 3, 2023
DNF
I finish all my books because when it comes to books I am optimistic, it may surprise me or end up being good ,there's always light at the end of a tunnel but this book, My very first DNF crushed that hope.
Could not for the life of me push through this book, way too many sex scenes that are completely unnecessary,random and forced. It needs to come with a warning about this because its not light at all.
I finished the first 4 stories and completely stopped on the 5th story because I didn't sign up for all that.
The stories are good (at least the ones I read) and the title definitely catchy but the fact that I wasn't warned about its sexual graphic/descriptive content still my biggest issue.
So it's a no for me.
Profile Image for Andre.
601 reviews185 followers
December 24, 2023
A promising debut. I hesitate to label this book misandrist but there are no men characters of redeeming value, none. So while the book is entitled Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad. In these 12 short stories, all the men are mad. Undoubtedly these characters represent some real life bad actors but the humor and sharp wit and downright absurdity of this collection raises it to four stars. She often uses the second person narrative, which I believe only skillful writers can pull off effectively, hence my first sentence.

I am certain we will hear from Damilare Kuku again as she has clearly demonstrated her talent. The collection starts strong with a witty story that adds a touch of sad shame, but that story gets the reader invested and you are already priming yourself for more. And Ms. Kuku delivers right up to the end with a story that seems set apart from the rest of the collection because there isn’t any humor, which carries the bulk of these stories. That last story, Independence Day is whoa! So despite this book deserving the misandrist label, it’s a fairly entertaining read. Thanks to Netgalley and Masobe books for a DRC!
Profile Image for Amyn.
309 reviews97 followers
December 9, 2021
I was looking forward to many laugh out loud moments but I had more eyeroll moments.
Profile Image for Chiseke Chiteta.
70 reviews8 followers
March 10, 2022
Another reason to love Nigerian literature. I had been seeing book reviews of this book on Instagram which made me curious to read it. Totally enjoyed it. The only problem is it was short 😅.
Profile Image for Mwayi Louise  Gowelo.
159 reviews1 follower
January 11, 2022
To say I enjoyed each short story in this brilliant collection is an understatement. All these stories evoked various feelings in me. Some of them had me laughing out loud and others had me on the verge of tears. This is such a relatable body of work that I will definitely read again. I also found it amusing how you can pretty much replace Lagos with Lilongwe and the message remains the same. Men are mad everywhere.
Profile Image for Rae | My Cousin’s Book Club .
198 reviews26 followers
April 4, 2024
4.5 STARS rounded up

Also, I agree with the title, it seems like nearly all the men (and some of the women) in Lagos are mad!!

I really enjoyed this book of short stories. This was a quick read and each story gave something different. The stories ranged from spicy, hilarious, sad, intriguing and maddening!

Even though I'm not Nigerian, I understood a lot of the language and I also enjoyed that some references I had to look up (or ask my Naija friends what they meant!) to fully understand the scope.

Profile Image for Florence.
143 reviews23 followers
November 12, 2022
I'm becoming such a huge fan of short stories by African authors.
Profile Image for Murugi Munyi.
25 reviews230 followers
November 29, 2023
I loved everything about this book! The quickness of each story.. the drama, the varied yet related nature of each story. I’ve laughed, teared up, gotten angry, screamed! Every single story sucked me in had me at the edge of my seat. Every single one. What a book!
Profile Image for Kiki.
206 reviews9,049 followers
September 8, 2024
Damilare Kuku’s ability to create an entire social network, a fully realised world, a textured story, within little more than a handful of words blows me away. I read this book in fits and starts over the course of a few months, and I still can’t stop thinking about “The Anointed Wife”. Like sometimes in the middle of a task I randomly remember it, specific imagery from it, and I’m left thinking, “Damn, that was fucked up.” The author truly has a special grasp of voice, the kind of intuition and understanding that can’t be taught. It feels like there are real people contained within these pages. Astonishing.

FIN
Profile Image for Sarah ~.
885 reviews913 followers
May 29, 2024
Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad: Stories - Damilare Kuku



تقريبا كل الرجال في لاغوس مجانين؛ يا له من عنوان جذاب ومميز لمجموعة قصصية .
المجموعة القصصية من نيجيريا، وهي عن المجتمع والعلاقات العاطفية وصعوباتها وتحدياتها، الحب والخيانات والزواجات المدبرة وتجارب الحب الأولى والزيجات التي تدوم لوقت طويل وتلك التي لا تواتيها تلك الفرصة، وطبعًا العلاقات الإنسانية ومايصاحبها من التردد والشك والخداع والخيانات وتدبيراتها، والتحرش والإغتصاب.. والتحديات التي تواجه الأزواج الجدد، من صعوبات اقتصادية وضغوط عائلية ..إلخ.

تركز المجموعة على هذه المواضيع تحديدًا، وهي مجموعة قصصية مختلفة وتلقي نظرة فاحصة على مجتمع كامل، والحياة المعاصرة وتحديات المواجهة بين المعاصرة والعادات والتقاليد، ووأود التأكيد أنها موجهة للبالغين في مناقشتها لهذه الأمور لذا وجب التنويه.
Profile Image for Faith.
458 reviews14 followers
February 6, 2022
When I first started this book, I saw a review that criticized the author's use of 'Nigerian English' and I thought the person was, well, silly. It is a Nigerian book by a Nigerian author, set in a Nigerian state. Should the author have written the book in Ghanian English? However, a couple of stories later, I started to understand what that reviewer meant. For me, reading this book felt like I was scrolling through twitter. That's the best way I can explain it.

This is collection of short stories, some of which were funny, some were not so funny, and a couple of sad ones in between. Also some (unexpectedly) steamy scenes?! Yeah, I enjoyed those. Before picking up this book, I'd already known that Lagos men are really not okay in the head 😂 These stories (fictional, yes yes, I know) just confirm that.

I found the first and second person POVs weird. It sometimes made the transition from the end of one story to the beginning of another a bit jarring for me.

Finally, can we please please please normalize trigger warnings in books?? The last story started with an abrupt and triggering sentence and it ruined that story for me.
Profile Image for Evelyn Bella.
450 reviews23 followers
April 23, 2024
First line- 'One day, you will hold a knife to your husband's penis and threaten to cut it off.' I knew my nosy ass was hooked. Like, girl, what he do? I knewwwwwww I was hooked.

But also the voices in my head chanting 'Cut. It. Off! Cut. It. Off!' (I'm kidding. Mostly.)

No, but honestly, this is a very funny collection of short stories. Highly recommend if you're in the mood for a break from romance but still in the mood for fun. Most of the stories are centered around man/woman interactions gone horribly wrong.

Plus an African megachurch pastor's wife who calls him 'Daddy' unironically and is vehemently defending him against accusations of infidelity that everyone believes but her. 💀

'Why would Daddy lie?' Indeed.

These days, we only have sex once a week, or whenever the Holy Spirit leads him.

'My dear,' he would say, 'Let us go and celebrate the Lord in bed.'

I know I'm very late to this party but I enjoyed it enormously nonetheless.
Profile Image for Princess Agyei Boateng.
39 reviews6 followers
January 5, 2022
First, read of 2022!🥳

Nearly All the men in Lagos are mad is a collection of 12 short witty stories. What attracted me to this book was the title ha!
The stories were easy to read but the sex scenes seemed forced to me and I found them unnecessary at some point. But I voiced my opinion in a virtual book club and one Lagosian babe confirmed Damilare didn’t lie🤣
Overall, it was a good read. Some stories were interesting and funny. I was rooting for the strong female leads like Jide in Ode- Pus Complex and Ivie in First Times .
The final story had me in my feelings though and men like Charles in Independence Day deserve to be in a dark place they can never come out of for the trauma they cause.
From the stories shared, I’m convinced nearly all the men in Lagos are mad 🤣 Awon werey! I don’t even know what that means

Profile Image for Julie Ambani.
143 reviews18 followers
December 6, 2022
Haha nearly all men in Lagos are mad indeed. But if we are being completely honest, based on these stories it seems that a good number of women in Lagos are mad too 😂

This was a quick read (read it in a day, in a few hours) and would highly recommend it if you need a quick read as a transition between two heavy books.

As usual with short stories, I’m often left dissatisfied as I feel some stories could be explored more but I understood the stories for what they were and tried to enjoy them as such. Some were really enjoyable such as Catfish (messy as hell), Ode-Pus Complex (madness) and Cuck-Up (also mad). Some stories however fell short of delivering what they were meant to.

All in all, I would recommend this book!

Also trigger warning: the last story in the book deals with rape.
Profile Image for Robert Jere.
95 reviews3 followers
July 9, 2023
Some of the stories were good while others were really bad. I can be more confident now in saying that this genre is just not for me. It is usually a chore to read these books.
The one thing I liked is how the book is structured. The individual stories are short. So it is easy to read the whole collection over multiple sessions.
I have no doubt that people who enjoy these west African (Nigerian) literature will like this one. It is just not for me. So I would recommend it in that case.
Profile Image for Kaytie.
83 reviews4 followers
June 16, 2024
If you’re looking for something fun and exciting to read I totally recommend this!!!!……. The short stories are so funny 😂😂😂😂uggghhh I love this book!!
Profile Image for Temi.
58 reviews9 followers
August 29, 2024
2.5 I think there are good stories with lessons from a very Nigerian prospective (not a perspective I like to be in but then again I don’t live in Lagos) and although I don’t consider myself to be a prude when it comes to smut in books this was abit too much cringe for me. I listened to the audiobook and let me tell you the accents did not help.
Profile Image for Shelah.
253 reviews5 followers
November 3, 2021
When I first saw the title of the book, I had to get it and it didn't disappoint.

Nearly all the men in Lagos are mad is a compilation of 12 short stories. The book tells stories of Lagos women and the shit they have survived and endured from Lagos men. From cheating husbands, a mommy's boy, an impotent husband, a side chick, to closeted gay husbands, and many more.
The book shows us the type of men Lagos women encounter in the dating scene and how it usually ends.

The story is well-written and very funny, there is no boring moment. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Mubanga.
8 reviews4 followers
February 7, 2022
The direction I imagined this book would go isn’t exactly what I was presented with. It fell flat around the fifth story. There was a lot of potential for the book to be written in a better way.
Profile Image for Elsie.
119 reviews3 followers
February 7, 2022
This book. This book. Chai!!!

"one night, you will calmly put a knife to your husband's penis and promise to cut it off." That's the opening line of the book and through it's 12 short stories you're led through one experience after another of women from all walks of life being shown pepper and how they managed to make pepper soup or shito! The thrills and suspense, especially the cliff hanger endings of some of the stories had me putting the book away every now and then just so I can chew on what I just read.
Here are my unsolicited votes:
Funniest story - International relations
Saddest - First times
The GOAT of all women! - Catfish, Beard gang, I knew you, Independence day

FAVOURITE QUOTES
"We fought and made up. We were good friends and better lovers. You liked me so much I had no choice but to start liking myself, to start acting respectable, like someone who had something special waiting for them back home."

"Happy endings are for mumus and fairy tales. Happy endings are the code name for a special type of massage in brothels. When it comes to relationships, you are lucky if you get a happy beginning and a not-so-terrible ending."

"In this life you have to hustle for your orgasms. This is me hustling for as many orgasms as I can collect."

"Dele your tongue has more uses than your dick. You should cut that useless piece of s*** between your legs off. Your tongue is enough. Perhaps before I kill you, I'll let you ride me with your tongue one last time. One for the road. At least you will die with the taste of my vagina accompanying you to the hell you came from."

"I knew I was going to make it in life so I was okay with the many phases and curveballs life threw at."

"When the ATM brings out naira notes, they look the same no matter how you have earned them"

"My Iya Agba used to say, sometimes men are like babies who you have to pull by the ear and show the way "

"Forget sex and food - nothing steals a man's heart faster than a beautiful woman who genuinely love that all his jokes"
Profile Image for Ehi.
127 reviews1 follower
December 19, 2021
This is definitely not my usual style of book, but the title drew me in! As a Lagos girl, I really wanted to read this! There was a good variety of stories, which shows creativity of the writer, but I found most/ all of them to verge on the side of sensationalism and vulgarity (which arguably speaks to her perspective of what some of these Lagos relationships are like). I also thought it could have benefited from a further edit, and from more variety in the narrative styles/ voices. However, it was an interesting read and made me reflect on the nature of romantic relationships in this society.
Profile Image for Kehinde 🥀.
111 reviews4 followers
February 10, 2024
this book is a compilation of short stories. and all the stories were 🤯🤯 some of my favorites were; Cuck-Up, The Anointed Wife, International Relations, A Lover’s Vendetta, First Times, Side-Lined, Beard Gang & Independence Day. 😍😍😍

i enjoyed reading all the stories and some were relatable. 🥺 this book clearly sums up the title! 😂😂

looking for a fast paced and witty book, you should totally read this.
Profile Image for Aisha Oredola.
70 reviews7 followers
November 14, 2021
Are nearly all the men in Lagos truly insane?

"'Anyone who could keep a white shirt clean at the end of the day in Lagos deserved a standing ovation. But I should have known that any man who could keep a white shirt clean at the end of a Lagos work day would be dangerous"

Nearly All The Men In Lagos Are Mad by Damilare Kuku is a catch of a collection of 12 versatile stories converging to draw the reader into a fictional world which reads not-so-fictitive, as the reality is nearly all Lagos men were well captured in this book. I liked only one male character, Lekan. Imagine. Majority of the rest made me feel like grabbing a pestel or turning stick. Not that the women were perfect, but the men were too toxic. Women in different chapters had to deal with objectification, oversexualization, condemnation, rape, second guessing of themselves. I like how most women stood up for themselves though.

There were men afraid of commitment, power thirsty ones, egoistic, and all collectively felt like Kings that deserved to objectify women, use them as tools, have their way; like women were created to dance to their tunes with whatever melody as long as it suited their low desires or gave them that absurd high of being overentitled and unaccountable for their deeds. When the sexual content was repetitive (which can make you cringe at some point due to the raw descriptions), I asked myself if all what most men care about is their physical desires.

My favourites were International relations, A Lovers Vendetta, Side Lined, Independence Day and Beard Gang - something about its crudeness, factuality and engagement was hooking. I was marvelled at how real it felt. The writing is beyond words. It's a remarkable debut.
Profile Image for Precious Sagbodje.
389 reviews35 followers
January 23, 2022
I picked up this book as a recommendation, therefore I had no clue what to expect.

My first surprise was that it is a collection of short stories. This came as a delight as I particularly enjoy short stories collection. It gives one a sense of the different stories an author can tell. Since they're short, one also gets premium satisfaction.

My second surprise was the sex. There are a lot of explicit scenes in almost all the stories, I thought I was reading erotica. So ermmm....

And finally, the title is quite misleading (for me. anyway). Although set in various parts of Lagos, the part about it being 'men' isn't quite true as the book shows. Nearly everyone in Lagos is mad. But I guess it's just a reflection of a society that's is quickly losing its values.

All in all, captivating read, very Nigerian, and funny in some places, also very sad if you're the sort to think about it.
Profile Image for Ayooluwa.
45 reviews9 followers
December 14, 2021
This was a quick and funny read. It confirmed what I'd already suspected about Lagos men 😄. The men in this book are liars, cheats, scammers, and largely undeserving of the women in their lives. That doesn't mean that the women in their lives were without blame, it just came up less-often.

What I didn't like about the book is that because of the title and the entire premise of the short-story collection, you knew how every story was going to end with a man breaking a woman's heart. All but one of short stories were very heteronormative. Even the story featuring gay men follows the same pattern: man and woman fall in 'like' and enter what the woman thinks is a monogamous relationship. I also think that the book could've used some extra editing. There were certain sentences and word choices that seemed off to me.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 976 reviews

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