Manny's Reviews > Box And Cox

If Huis Clos had been written by John Maddison Morton

[A furnished room with no windows. Enter BOX and COX, led by the agreeably buxom MRS BOUNCER]

MRS BOUNCER: Welcome to Hell, gentlemen! I trust you will be comfortable.

[BOX and COX look around wildly]

BOX: Where are the devils?

COX: Yes, where the devil are they?

MRS BOUNCER: Now, now, everyone asks me that! Please set your fears at rest.

[BOX and COX are still looking in all directions]

BOX: So there's no rack?

COX: No thumbscrews?

MRS BOUNCER: Of course not. The only torture you will be subjected to is each other's unending company. L'enfer, c'est-

BOX: Unfair? Unfair? It certainly is unfair to be eternally damned.

COX: That it is. Damned unfair.

MRS BOUNCER: No crimes on your consciences then?

BOX: Absolutely not. I was in no way responsible for the death of his intended.

COX: My intended? You mean your intended.

BOX: You are engaged to her.

COX: But you proposed first.

[They are about to come to blows, but MRS BOUNCER intervenes]

MRS BOUNCER: Perhaps you are both to blame?

[The two men reconsider]

BOX: Now that I think of it, the world's better off without her.

COX: She filled a much needed gap.

BOX: You know, I'm starting to appreciate you more.

COX: You're actually quite a decent fellow.

[Enter the MESSENGER]

MESSENGER: It was all a mistake. You're both being reassigned to Heaven.

BOX: But I don't want to leave. I find I like Hell.

COX: Hell of a place. And we can't abandon our landlady, can we?

MRS BOUNCER [adjusting her bosom in a meaningful fashion] I'll make up your beds, good sirs.

CURTAIN