When your co-workers leave the office, or sign off on Zoom or Teams for the day, do you ever wonder what their “real” lives are like? It’s easy to see the people before us, whether in person or on screen, as the personas they present to us, or as we wish to see them to fit our own expectations.
Sometimes we may wonder why they are failing to deliver on a project when they always have before, or why they are moody or distracted once in a while. But we don’t want to pry, or, worse, in our busy schedules we don’t take time to ask. Instead we just get disappointed in the work issues.
The truth is, we don’t know what transpires once our colleagues shut down their computers or step out of the office. We may think we do, having shared some social events and likely shared some family stories and photos. However, it’s rare these days to truly know our co-workers beyond the surface, to understand the full spectrum of their lives and the challenges they face. Social media compounds this, with its polished portrayals of success and happiness.
The odds are not small that some of them have to go to another job to help pay their rent and bills. Its not unlikely that a few have to go to the food bank to help put food on the table. There’s a real chance that some are going home to abusive spouses and dealing with the pain of abuse. Others have alcoholic or addicted family members or, they themselves are struggling with addiction. Chances sadly are they could be in a marital breakdown or dealing with deep depression or failing parents.
The thing is we don’t know unless they choose to confide in us. But, what we do know, is that all of those things above are real probabilities for people and that there’s a high likelihood you know someone in your work circle who is quietly contending with at least one of these stressful life situations.
There are programs designed to help with these issues and, a compassionate manager can make a significant difference. But it’s just so important to remember that the best part of someone’s life, at a given moment in time, may be the time they spend with you at work.
So, be kind and understanding. We could all use more of that in our lives.