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Cnicholson12 (talk | contribs) Added Peer Review 2 |
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Overall, I enjoyed the readability of your article and I thought you did a great job of reorganizing it. [[User:Alardenoit|Alardenoit]] ([[User talk:Alardenoit|talk]]) 05:52, 7 November 2013 (UTC)
==Peer Review 2==
I think you've made many strong and relevant additions to the article. The introductory section is much stronger now.
Overall, the article looks good, but could be proofread again and readability could be improved. Several sections are a bit jumpy so transitions could be made smoother. Some work could be done in making the 'Cultural Attitudes' section more cohesive and consistent. While you are comparing several countries and cultures, you could make it more explicit that that is what you are doing because it is a little confusing to the reader to have so many different perspectives all together.
Additionally, you could work on increasing the number of in-text citations you use. They really help the reader know where the information is coming from and let you use more types of information while still keeping the article neutral because the opinions or statements are given a more explicit source. It is helpful to the reader and they can make their own judgement about the source, seeing explicitly who it came from.
Great job!!
[[User:Cnicholson12|Cnicholson12]] ([[User talk:Cnicholson12|talk]]) 15:56, 7 November 2013 (UTC)
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