Famous quotes by Milton Berle:
"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live"
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
"Committee--a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."
"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient."
"A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living.""
"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?"
"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring."
"Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies."
"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live."