Etiquette

Etiquette (/ˈɛt[invalid input: 'ɨ']kɛt/ or /ˈɛt[invalid input: 'ɨ']kɪt/, French: [e.ti.kɛt]) is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. The French word étiquette, literally signifying a tag or label, first appeared in English around 1750.^[1]

History

In ( 2414-2375 BC) Ptahhotep wrote The Maxims of Ptahhotep. The Maxims are conformist precepts extolling such civil virtues as truthfulness, self-control, and kindness towards one's fellow beings. Learning by listening to everybody and knowing that human knowledge is never perfect are a leitmotif.[4] Avoiding open conflict wherever possible should not be considered weakness. Justice should be pursued and in the end it will be a god's command that prevails.[5] Some of the maxims refer to one's behaviour when in the presence of the great, how to choose the right master and how to serve him. Others teach the correct way to lead through openness and kindness. Greed is the base of all evil and should be guarded against, while generosity towards family and friends is praiseworthy. From: Ancient Egypt encyclopedia

Confucius (551–479 BC) was a Chinese teacher, editor, politician, and philosopher whose philosophy emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of social relationships, justice and sincerity.

Louis XIV (1638-1718) "transformed a royal hunting lodge in Versailles, a village 25 miles southwest of the capital, into one of the largest palaces in the world, officially moving his court and government there in 1682. It was against this awe-inspiring backdrop that Louis tamed the nobility and impressed foreign dignitaries, using entertainment, ceremony and a highly codified system of etiquette to assert his supremacy.”^[2]

In French, the word "etiquette" has been described as the one word that aptly describes life during the reign of Queen Victoria.^[3]

The word etiquette came from an old French word meaning ticket or label.^{[citation needed]} From the 1500s through the early 1900s, children learned about etiquette at school. Nevertheless etiquette has changed and evolved over the years.

Rules of etiquette

Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society, though the term itself is not commonly used. A rule of etiquette may reflect an underlying ethical code, or it may reflect a person's fashion or status. Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten, but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time.

Manners

Manners involve a wide range of social interactions within cultural norms as in the "comedy of manners", or a painter's characteristic "manner". Etiquette and manners, like mythologies, have buried histories especially when they seem to have little obvious purpose, and their justifications as logical ("respect shown to others" etc.) may be equally revealing to the social historian. They are like laws in that they codify or set a standard for human behavior but there is no formal system for punishing transgressions, the main informal "punishment" being social disapproval. They are a kind of norm. What is considered "mannerly" is highly susceptible to change with time, geographical location, social stratum, occasion, and other factors. That manners matter is evidenced by the fact that large books have been written on the subject, advice columns frequently deal with questions of mannerly behavior, and that schools have existed for the sole purpose of teaching manners. A lady is a term frequently used for a woman who follows proper manners; the term gentleman is used as a male counterpart; though these terms are also often used for members of a particular social class.

Manners may include eating in a certain way, thanking people for things, and apologising for transgressions.

Western office and business etiquette

The etiquette of business is the set of written and unwritten rules of conduct that make social interactions run more smoothly. Office etiquette in particular applies to coworker interaction, excluding interactions with external contacts such as customers and suppliers. When conducting group meetings in the United States, the assembly might follow Robert's Rules of Order, if there are no other company policies to control a meeting.

These rules are often echoed throughout an industry or economy. For instance, 49% of employers surveyed in 2005 by the American National Association of Colleges and Employers found that non-traditional attire would be a "strong influence" on their opinion of a potential job candidate.^[4]

Both office and business etiquette overlap considerably with basic tenets of netiquette, the social conventions for using computer networks.

Business etiquette can vary significantly in different countries, which is invariably related to their culture. For example: A notable difference between Chinese and Western business etiquette is conflict handling. Chinese businesses prefer to look upon relationship management to avoid conflicts^[5] - stemmed from a culture that heavily relies on Guanxi. While the west leaves resolution of conflict to the interpretations of law through contracts and lawyers.

Adjusting to foreign etiquettes is a major complement of culture shock, providing a market for manuals.^[6] Other resources include business and diplomacy institutions, available only in certain countries such as the UK.^[7]

In 2011, a group of etiquette experts and international business group formed a non-profit organization called IITTI (pronounced as "ET") to help human resource (HR) departments of multinationals in measuring the etiquette skills of prospective new employees during the recruitment process by standardizing image and etiquette examination, similar to what ISO does for industrial process measurements.^[8]

International

European

European etiquette is not uniform. Even within the regions of Europe, etiquette may not be uniform: within a single country there may be differences in customs, especially where there are different linguistic groups, as in Switzerland where there are French, German and Italian speakers.

Islamic

Proper moralconduct (adab) primary to prepare Sufi disciples for the ultimate return to the divine (Qumar-ul-Huda). Qumar-ul Huda proposes that the detailed instructions for spiritual exercises, guidelines for meditation, prayers, and the theological connection among faith, law, and the and the etiquette of morality suggest and adan theology. Islam has rules of etiquette and an ethical code involving every aspect of life. Muslims refer to Adab as good manners, courtesy, respect, and appropriateness, covering acts such as entering or exiting a washroom, posture when sitting, and cleansing oneself. According to Sahih Bukhari, Muhammad (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) refrained from bad language; neither a 'Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say "The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character." Where adab is not found there is no law Qamar-ul Huda. Where there isn't law people are not obedient, and there is no authority. When there is no type of general rules of society to follow, then people become hostile, and in the end all will be destroyed. In wider Islamic usage adab was more about the proper codes for conducting one's life that were connected to a system of ideas based on essential teachings of the Islamic faith and it's beliefs Qamar-ul Huda. The guidance of having proper codes of conduct make society have order and authority, and give the people something to abide by. When society has aurthority to obey, then that makes other be the best person they can be compared to the next. In society when people are being the best person they can be, then that society would be too perfect for reality.

Iran

Taarof is a Persian form of civility emphasizing both self-deference and social rank, similar to the Chinese art of etiquette, limao. The term encompasses a range of social behaviours, from a man displaying etiquette by opening the door for a woman, to a group of colleagues standing on ceremony in front of a door that can permit the entry of only one at time, earnestly imploring the most senior to break the deadlock. In order for one to understand the complete concept of adab, one must move beyond the texts of the world and view the larger system of interrelated religious concepts to which it is connected Lowen. This means one can't follow what is written inside of a text book, and think that they are following all of the conducts correctly. For one to fully suit the conducts, one must be open to trial,and error and learn from mistakes and make those mistakes a lesson learned. Follwoing adab conduct is crucial with one learning how to accept failure, because that will make one a stronger character. Adab was further defined by a visible and calculated demonstration of good deeds, as expressed in a varse cited by Kashifi" "Adab consists wholly of doing good deeds Lowen. One who does good deeds is usually a good person who values helping other for nothing in return, and is very polite and has good working ethnics and is usually content with their lives. The virtues which characterized the jawanmard-generosity, hospitality, courage, self-sacrifice-were epitomized by specific codes of behavior Loewn. Loewn also expresses that an important characteristic of spiritual champions and Sufis of the medieval period was their practice of hospitality and the ritual of the communal meal. Adab thus meant a generous and open table, perhaps not dissimilar from the code of secular jawanmardi Lowen.

Japan

The Japanese are very formal. Moments of silence are far from awkward. Smiling does not always mean that the individual is expressing pleasure. Business cards are to be handed out formally following this procedure: Hand card with writing facing upwards; bow when giving and receiving the card; grasp it with both hands; read it carefully; and put it in a prominent place. The Japanese feel a “Giri” an obligation to reciprocate a gesture of kindness. They also rely on an innate sense of right and wrong.

Conversation	Business	Dining	Leisure
• Bow when greeting someone. • Do not display emotion. • Do not blow your nose in public. • Do not stand with your hands in your pocket. • Displaying an open mouth is rude.	• Bow in greeting. • Females should avoid heels. • Do not stash away a business card in a pocket or in a place where it is likely to be misplaced or damaged. • Look at the business card when given, and try to say something genuinely nice about it (colors, font, raised lettering, etc.). The card should also be received with two hands. • Exchange business cards. • Moments of silence are normal. • Do not slouch. • Cross legs at the ankles. • Do not interrupt but listen carefully. • Do not chew gum.	• It is acceptable to make noise while eating. • Food is judged by not only the taste but also the consistency. • Do not mix sake with any other alcohol. • Try any food that is given to you. • Rice left in your bowl indicates the desire for second helpings. • If someone offers you sake, drink.	• Remove shoes before entering homes and restaurants. • To beckon a person extend hand palm down and make a scratching motion. • The Japanese wear surgical masks when they have a cold. • Men sit cross-legged and women sit on their legs or with their legs to the side.

Kenya

Kenyans believe that their tribal identity is very important. Kenyans are also very nationalistic. Kenyans rarely prefer to be alone, and are usually very friendly and welcoming of guests. Kenyans are very family-oriented.

Conversation	Business	Dining	Leisure
• The handshake is the common greeting.	• Use right hand to receive gifts.	• Eating is taken very seriously.	• You must ask permission in taking pictures of people.
• Engage in small talk.	• Personal references are highly respected.	• Eating is usually done in silence.	• Kenyans operate on “Swahili Time”.
• Kenyans do not like to say "No" or "Yes".	• Meetings can be very lengthy.	• Lunch is the most important meal of the day.
• Be humorous.	• Hand out a business card.	• The evening meal tends to be light.
• Laugh readily.	• Decisions tend to be made in a group.	• Traditional foods are eaten without cutlery by using the right hand.

Cultural differences

*Hunting Lice by Candlelight*, Andries Both (Dutch, ca.1612/13–1641)

Etiquette is dependent on culture; what is excellent etiquette in one society may shock another. Etiquette evolves within culture. The Dutch painter Andries Both shows that the hunt for head lice (illustration, right), which had been a civilized grooming occupation in the early Middle Ages, a bonding experience that reinforced the comparative rank of two people, one groomed the other, one was the subject of the groomer, had become a peasant occupation by 1630. The painter portrays the familiar operation matter-of-factly, without the disdain this subject would have received in a 19th-century representation.

Etiquette can vary widely between different cultures and nations. For example, in Hausa culture, eating while standing may be seen as offensively casual and ill-omened behavior, insulting the host and showing a lack of respect for the scarcity of food—the offense is known as "eating with the devil" or "committing santi." In China, a person who takes the last item of food from a common plate or bowl without first offering it to others at the table may be seen as a glutton who is insulting the host's generosity. Traditionally, if guests do not have leftover food in front of them at the end of a meal, it is to the dishonour of the host. In America a guest is expected to eat all of the food given to them, as a compliment to the quality of the cooking. However, it is still considered polite to offer food from a common plate or bowl to others at the table.

In such rigid hierarchal cultures as Korea and Japan, alcohol helps to break down the strict social barrier between classes. It allows for a hint of informality to creep in. It is traditional for host and guest to take turns filling each other's cups and encouraging each other to gulp it down. For someone who does not consume alcohol (except for religious reasons), it can be difficult escaping the ritual of the social drink.^[9]

Etiquette is a topic that has occupied writers and thinkers in all sophisticated societies for millennia, beginning with a behavior code by Ptahhotep, a vizier in ancient Egypt's Old Kingdom during the reign of the Fifth Dynasty king Djedkare Isesi (ca. 2414–2375 BC). All known literate civilizations, including ancient Greece and Rome, developed rules for proper social conduct. Confucius included rules for eating and speaking along with his more philosophical sayings.

Early modern conceptions of what behavior identifies a "gentleman" were codified in the 16th century, in a book by Baldassare Castiglione, Il Cortegiano ("The Courtier"); its codification of expectations at the Este court remained in force in its essentials until World War I. Louis XIV established an elaborate and rigid court ceremony, but distinguished himself from the high bourgeoisie by continuing to eat, stylishly and fastidiously, with his fingers. An important book about etiquette is Il Galateo by Giovanni della Casa; in fact, in Italian, etiquette is generally called galateo (or etichetta or protocollo).

In the American colonies Benjamin Franklin and George Washington wrote codes of conduct for young gentlemen. The immense popularity of advice columns and books by Letitia Baldrige and Miss Manners shows the currency of this topic. Even more recently, the rise of the Internet has necessitated the adaptation of existing rules of conduct to create Netiquette, which governs the drafting of e-mail, rules for participating in an online forum, and so on.

In Germany, many books dealing with etiquette, especially dining, dressing etc., are called the Knigge, named after Adolph Freiherr Knigge who wrote the book Über den Umgang mit Menschen (On Human Relations) in the late 18th century. However, this book is about good manner and also about the social states of its time, but not about etiquette.

Etiquette may be wielded as a social weapon. The outward adoption of the superficial mannerisms of an in-group, in the interests of social advancement rather than a concern for others, is considered by many a form of snobbery, lacking in virtue.

References

^ OED, "Etiquette".
^ "Louis XIV". History.com. Retrieved December 13, 2012.
^ "Tudor Rose" (1999–2010). "Victorian Society". AboutBritain.com. Retrieved August 9, 2010.
^ "Blue hair, body piercings--do employers care?". Grab Bag. 50 (3). Occupational Outlook Quarterly. Fall 2006. Retrieved August 9, 2010.
^ "Ho-Ching Wei". "Chinese-Style Conflict Resolution: A Case of Taiwanese Business Immigrants in Australia" (PDF). University of Western Sydney. Retrieved June 2, 2012.
^ De Mente, Boyd (1994). Chinese Etiquette & Ethics in Business. Lincolnwood: NTC Business Books. ISBN 0-8442-8524-2.
^ "Institute of Diplomacy and Business". Retrieved June 2, 2012.
^ IITTI website "About Us"
^ Mitchell, Charles (1999). Short Course in International Business Culture. San Rafael: World Trade Press. ISBN 1-885073-54-2.

External links

[1] OED, "Etiquette".

[2] "Louis XIV". History.com. Retrieved December 13, 2012.

[3] "Tudor Rose" (1999–2010). "Victorian Society". AboutBritain.com. Retrieved August 9, 2010.

[4] "Blue hair, body piercings--do employers care?". Grab Bag. 50 (3). Occupational Outlook Quarterly. Fall 2006. Retrieved August 9, 2010.

[5] "Ho-Ching Wei". "Chinese-Style Conflict Resolution: A Case of Taiwanese Business Immigrants in Australia" (PDF). University of Western Sydney. Retrieved June 2, 2012.

[6] De Mente, Boyd (1994). Chinese Etiquette & Ethics in Business. Lincolnwood: NTC Business Books. ISBN 0-8442-8524-2.

[7] "Institute of Diplomacy and Business". Retrieved June 2, 2012.

[8] IITTI website "About Us"

[IBC-9] Mitchell, Charles (1999). Short Course in International Business Culture. San Rafael: World Trade Press. ISBN 1-885073-54-2.

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