Talk:Clan Macfie
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Tate and Lyle
[edit]Removed recently from MacFie
"Clan MacFie is formally recognised as an armigerous clan in Scotland by the Lord Lyon, this honorific having been obtained by members of the board of the sugar manufacturers Tate & Lyle Ltd. who desired recognition from King George IV when he visited Scotland in 1822, the first visit by an English monarch since 1650.
Tartans and kilts were produced and displayed on that occasion, regardless of authenticity. The MacFies and the MacIvers came out with the same tartan design, an anomaly which has never been corrected." Ben MacDui (Talk) 07:26, 28 August 2007 (UTC)
- Well the tartan bit was left in, fact template intact. If you can find a good reference I see no reason not to reinstate it, and also to perhaps mention that MacFie's Treacle was major brand name for T&L in those days.Wwwhatsup 18:46, 28 August 2007 (UTC)
- Right, both (unreferenced) statements were moved over to this article, as you can see. The tartan statement is outdated though, as the clan has apparently had its own tartan since 1991, (a tartan near identical to the MacIver tartan).--Celtus 05:31, 29 August 2007 (UTC)
- I found a ref that mentions Tate & Lyle, though its short and pretty vague. Macfie of Dreghorn matriculated arms in the Lyon Register in 1864. He was a member of a powerful merchant family with considerable interests in the sugar-refining industry. The company was eventually to be taken over by the present sugar giants, Tate & Lyle. I added a short footnote in the article.--Celtus (talk) 03:47, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
Culloden
[edit]Thankyou Celtus for your work on improving the article. Much appreciated. I am, as you might guess, a MacFie. I recall my father remarking that we were an uncommon breed due, partly, to the many members lost at the Battle of Culloden. Is that documented at all? Wwwhatsup 06:57, 29 August 2007 (UTC)
- Thanks Wwwhatsup you're welcome. The Clan Macfie Homepage mentions how Macfies were with the Camerons at the Battle of Culloden. The Culloden article on wiki mentions that too, too bad there aren't any inline citations to show where the information came from.--Celtus 05:09, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
Clan MacFie to Clan Macfie
[edit]On the offical website, their newsletter and the a couple other sites i've seen, the clan is consistantly spelt with a lower case f. And this from here The Lord Lyon of Scotland recognizes the spelling 'Macfie' as the only official spelling of our clan name. So i'm going to move the page to Clan Macfie.--Celtus 05:22, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
Redundant pages
[edit]If one searches Wikipedia on macfie, one comes up with MacFie. This article, while having a see also that refers to this article, more directly links to Mahaffey. Surely both these pages are redundant, and could be replaced with redirects to this article, or at least the links on each should be amended. Wwwhatsup 19:22, 5 October 2007 (UTC)
- Rereading Mahaffey- there are a few things in there that could be adopted into this article.Wwwhatsup 19:31, 5 October 2007 (UTC)
- Yeah much of it just blends into this article. The bit about the standing stone should go into this article it think, it shouldn't be hard to find citations for that part.--Celtus 05:21, 8 October 2007 (UTC)
- A big improvement. Good job! Wwwhatsup 11:13, 11 October 2007 (UTC)
Changes made on behalf of the Commander
[edit]The following changes have been made on behalf of the Clan Commander A.C. (Sandy) McPhie, at his request, by myself, Scot McPhie, Web Master for the MacFie Clan:
1. Opening paragraph entitled "Clan Macfie", rewritten to read:"Clan Macfie is one of the oldest Scottish Clans. Centred on the southern Inner Hebrides islands of Colonsay and Oronsay, the Clan lost its last Chief, Malcolm, in 1623 and became a 'broken' clan, dispossessed of its homelands. No line of descent from Chief Malcolm has been established and the Clan remained 'broken' until 27th May 1981 when the Lord Lyon King of Arms recognised Clan Macfie as again being an 'active' clan and subsequently, appointed a Ceann-Cath, or Clan Commander. The ancient name of the Clan was Macdubhsith, this anglicised in time to MacDuffie or MacPhee which were then considered synonymous. To-day's spelling of the Clan name as Macfie was determined by the Lord Lyon using the surname spelling of the first Clan member to receive a Grant of Arms. To-day Clan Macfie is alive, with nine Clan Societies located around the world."
2. History paragraph - Skene sentance moved here, along with the wire diagram.
3. Deletion of Last in Line of Chiefs section, as in the Commander's opinion it does not enhace the entry. Minor wording ammendments, as per instructions: (a) fourth line delete "to the south western corner of the island" and insert in lieu "to the islands at the southwestern end of Oronsay"; (b) line thirteen etc., opening reword to "number of Clan Macfie members settled in Lochaber after the loss of Colonsay and followed Cameron of Lochiel."
4. Deletion of MacFie the Outlaw section as in the Commander's opinion it does nothing to enhance the Clan's history or image.
5. Modern Clan section - minor changes to wording, notably "appointed" for "recognised"
6. Clan Profile - minor changes - mainly deletion of references to Clan McIvor tartan
7. Associated Names - after "Clan Macfie" "and" deleted and replaced with "as", and the following statement also inserted "The Clan Commander recognizes the historical links Clan Macfie had with the Macdonald Lords of the Isles, Clan Cameron and a branch of Clan McNicol in Glenorchy. More recently, close links have been established by Clan Macfie with Thorburns in Sweden and the Brew family in New Zealand."
- Please note some of these changes are yet to be given footnote attributions -- Scotness 20:45, October 28, 2007
- I think Macphee the outlaw should definitely be included in the article, he seems to be the most well known 'Macfie' of his era, a true highland character (exactly the kind of thing people reading up on their clan would be interested in), and most importantly he's mentioned in other published accounts of the clan. The Macfie genealogy is relevant because it actually shows why Skene figured the Macfies were a Siol Alpin clan. Its pretty interesting too.--Celtus 04:48, 29 October 2007 (UTC)
- Perhaps Macphee the outlaw merits his own article and just a brief mention in this one. Wwwhatsup 06:10, 29 October 2007 (UTC)
- Indeed. Just so long as we are clear that the purpose of this article is to provide factual and referenced information, NOT to 'enhance the Clan's history or image'. Anything unreferenced should of course be removed. Ben MacDui(Talk)/(Walk) 07:23, 29 October 2007 (UTC)
- Ben made a good point, because the Commander thinks "it does nothing to enhance the Clan's history or image" isn't a reason... Wikipedia is an Encyclopedia not a collection of advertisements or vanity pieces. How exactly does an outlaw ruin the image of a Scottish clan? One of the reasons clans so popular with people of Scottish heritage is because of the romanticism of the rebellious clans, feuds and battles.--Celtus 05:41, 31 October 2007 (UTC)
- The older version, especially in the opening, was considerably better than this new version. As Celtus has quite correctly stated, "Wikipedia is an Encyclopedia," and thus it is not appropriate for those with a vested interest (quite possibly a conflict of interest) to edit the article to suit said interest. I am sympathetic to the purpose of these most recent edits, and do not assume any ill intent on the part of Scotness. Still, we must strive for balance and factual accuracy. ---RepublicanJacobiteThe'FortyFive' 18:41, 31 October 2007 (UTC)
- I agree with the changes Celtus made today, reverting to the old intro and replacing the 'outlaw' section. -- Wwwhatsup (talk) 19:52, 16 November 2007 (UTC)
Outlaw Macfies
[edit]BTW here's a totally obscure reference to Macfies defying the powers that be in more recent history. Wwwhatsup 06:16, 29 October 2007 (UTC)
- Nice find. Search for Colonsay and you get pictures of a few of the monuments relating to the Macfies. They're out of copyright so they'd work too, just a bit small. I wonder what book they were published in, it only lists the artist's name. One of them would go well in the article.--Celtus 05:48, 31 October 2007 (UTC)
- [1] from the New York Public Library collection: good ol' Ewen Macphee.--Celtus (talk) 11:06, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
GA Review
[edit]Lead
[edit]"The 19th century historian W. F. Skene named the clan as one of the seven clans of Siol Alpin – who according Skene could all trace their ancestry back to Alpin, father of Cináed mac Ailpín."
"According to Sken" should be set off with commas. Also, what is Soil Alpin?
- Done. A brief description of Siol Alpin is right there in the sentence you selected, and the article for Siol Alpin is wiki-linked as well. Siol Alpin refers to a number of clans who have been thought to descend from Alpin, father of the king Cináed mac Ailpín.--Celtus (talk) 11:32, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"Popular tradition has been until recently to consider Cináed mac Ailpín the first King of Scots and a Gael, however recent research has shown he was actually a Pictish king and likely a Pict himself."
Use a semicolon, not a comma. And put a comma after "however".
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 11:32, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"Following the forfeiture of the Lordship of the Isles in the late 15th century the clan still attached itself to powerful Macdonalds. In the early 17th century the last chief of the clan was executed as Colonsay was lost to the control of a Macdonald."
Comma after the introductory phrases in the two sentences.
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 11:32, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"From this point on the Macfies followed the Macdonalds of Islay, though a branch of the clan being dispersed to lands controlled by Clan Cameron."
"Was dispersed", not "being".
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 11:32, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
History
[edit]"Though of their early history nothing is known."
This sentence is a fragment.
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 10:45, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
"The principle stone bore the engraving of a birlinn, two handed claymore and the inscription "Hic jacit Malcolumbus MacDuffie de Collonsay"
A translation of the quote, perhaps?
- OK done, that was easy enough. Maybe having both the Latin and English for this makes a bigger deal out the actual inscription than there needs to be - The principle stone bore the engraving of a birlinn, two handed claymore and the inscription "Hic jacit Malcolumbus MacDuffie de Collonsay" ("Here lies Malcolumbus MacDuffie of Colonsay"). Maybe we should just change the sentence to say something like: Martin described the most prominent stone, as being inscribed in memory of "Malcolumbus MacDuffie de Collonsay", and which bore the engraving of a birlinn and a two handed claymore.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"Of the stones, one is to the memory of Murchardus M'Duffie, who died in 1539. Another stone is for Sir Donald M'Duffie, who was abbot of Oronsay when Donald Munro, High Dean of the Isles, toured the Western Isles in 1549."
Who are these two people? What relevance do they have?
- They were prominent Macfies whose engraved tombstones are pretty impressive have been noted in descriptions of Colonsay. Murchadus's is the image on the left of the article. Should these passage be removed from the article?--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"In describing the island of Colonsay, Monro wrote that "this ile is bruikit be ane gentle capitane, callit M’Duffyhe, and pertened of auld to Clandonald of Kyntyre", gentle meaning 'well-born', and captain being the old styling of 'chief'"
Why not just paraphrase, instead of quoting a very hard-to-read passage?
- OK. Most of it has been paraphrased, and the quotes have been downgraded to footnotes. I left the part about "gentle capitane, callit M’Duffyhe" and gentle meaning well-born, and captain being the old styling of chief - hopefully the reader learned two new (though archaic) words. I don't think it will overload a reader.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"The laird of Colonsay, "M'Fee of Collowsay" (Murdoch Macfie of Colonsay), appears on the General Band of 1587 listed as one of the "landislordis and baillies of lands in the hieland and iles, quhair brokin men hes duelt and presentlie duellis"."
Again, why quote a very hard-to-read passage when you can paraphrase? And what's a laird?
- Done. The passage is now paraphrased and the quote has been degraded to a footnote. Laird is wiki-linked to its article in the lead paragraph. A laird was a hereditary title which showed you owned a certain piece of land (Laird of Colonsay) and that you possessed certain rights on that lands (such as the right to execute criminals sometimes referred to as "the power of pit and gallows").--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
Fall of the clan
[edit]"Macfie was one of the principal leaders in Macdonald's rebellion against the Government who had promised Islay to the Campbells."
Put a comma after "Government".
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"Macfie together with Donald Gigach MacIan, who was the principal man on the nearby isle of Jura, were able to contribute a combined total of 64 men to the Macdonald rebellion."
Put a comma after "Macfie". And "principal man" is rather general. What does it mean? And, "were" should be "was" (referring only to Macfie).
- Done. Principal, as in "leading man" or "prominent man" on the island of Jura. I'll change principal to leading man. The combined forces of Macfie and MacIan was 64 men. I guess obviously this part needs to be made clearer. I changed this part to: The combined forces of Macfie and Donald Gigach MacIan, who was the leading man on the nearby isle of Jura, contributed a total of 64 men to the Macdonald rebellion. What do you think?--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"When Sir James Macdonald's force of 400 men landed in at Kinloch (Campbellton) in Kintyre, they were made up in part by the "special men" from Islay, Macfie of Colonsay, Donald Gigach of Jura, Allaster MacRanald of Keppoch, and North Islesmen."
If you're going to do a list, then you should use a colon after "Islay".
- All these groups are separate, and made up Macdonald's force. So the men from Islay are a separate bunch from the Macfies from Colonsay, and Donald Gigach's men from Jura, and Allaster MacRanalds men, and the men from the North Isles.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
Last in a line of chiefs
[edit]"Finally in 1623 Malcolm Macfie was pursued to the south-western corner of the island and taken by the MacDonalds."
Comma after "Finally" and "1623".
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"It is said that while Colla Ciotach and his men were returning to Oronsay, a gull, hovering over a ledge of rock at the edge of the sea, gave away the location of the Macfie chief."
Exactly how relevant is that?
- Relevant because it is the lore describing how the chief was caught. I have edited this part a bit so this is a bit clearer. What do you think?--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"The fact that Colla Ciotach slew the chief of the Clan Macfie is proven as the Council Records state that Colla Ciotach was "guilty of the felonie and cruell slaughter of umquhill Malcolm Macphie of Collonsay"."
Again, try summarizing, not quoting this difficult passage.
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"The island was later to be absorbed into the earldom of Argyll, until it was sold in 1701 to a McNeill or Crear."
"McNeill or Crear" is improperly wikilinked.
- McNeill of Crear doesn't have an article, so i've unlinked him.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"A well known character in Inverness-shire, in the 19th century, was a Ewen Macphee who lived as an outlaw, recognising no landowner and raised a family upon a small island."
Keep your tense consistent.
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
The modern clan
[edit]"In 1968 Earle Douglas MacPhee of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada started a movement to have the Clan Macfie officially registered with the Lord Lyon."
Comma after the year.
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"Some ten years later, on May 10, 1977, the Macfie Standing Stone on Balaruminmore on Colonsay was dedicated as a memorial to the last chief of the clan who was executed against it in 1623."
"Some ten years later" is rather informal, and unnecessary.
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"In May 1981 Clan Macfie was formally recognised by the Lord Lyon and later in November of that year Earle MacPhee was appointed as Commander of Clan Macfie by the Lord Lyon."
Comma after 1981 and "year".
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
"Currently (as of March 2008) there are 104 participants in the project. Of the 104 participants there have been 33 separate bloodlines found."
Comma after "Currently" and the second "participants".
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
Clan profile
[edit]OK, the article goes down hill here. These section are rather short, and I think maybe "Crest badge and clan badge" could be put better (maybe in a userbox?). Also, I think that "Associated names" could be eliminated.
I have no idea how to make an infobox. Is not having the whole article in paragraph form a major problem? I think the way the clan badge info is presented is ok, because there is space to show how other clans share the same badge (Siol Alpin and Clan Cameron - which have already been shown to have been associated with the clan). I don't think there would be enough space to easily show that in an infobox. Atleast wihout going to footnotes, and most people aren't going to read those.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)- I changed the crest badge, clan badge section into paragraph form.--Celtus (talk) 07:43, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
- The names i think should stay. Almost every clan has a list of spelling variations of the clan name, or sept names which were different families which were traditionally part of the clan. Sept and associated names are a big part in modern clans because they are the names of people which make up these orginisations. These name lists appear on almost every clan website. Most of the members of this clan wont even have the "clan surname" Macfie, even the two commanders have different names (MacPhee, McPhie). The associated names listed for this clan, are all (except maybe MacCuish) thought to be derived from the Gaelic Mac Dhuibhshíthe. Associated names are relevant to modern clan organisations, and this list is straight from the official website.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
References
[edit]Also, what makes these links reliable?
- [2] (you use that reference way too much, by the way)
- [3]
- [4]
- [5]
- [6]
- [7]
- [8]
- [9]
- [10] (this link is broken)
- [11]
- [12]
- 1 - The official Clan Macfie website. The reason why it likely seemed as if this ref was being used too much was because of the 43 times it was used for the Associated names section. These 43 refs have been switched for one footnote (it looks less cluttered now anyways).
- 2 - Not sure. This website has an e-text of A Description of The Western Islands of Scotland, by Martin Martin. I will look for something on GoogleBooks.
- 3 - collectbritain.co.uk is a digital archive website of the British Library. Reliable.
- 4 - Not sure why this website would be considered unreliable. It is an massive website on Scotland, and is used in many Scottish related articles on Wikipedia. The ref used is for a citation from A Description of the Western Isles of Scotland Called Hybrides, by Sir Donald Monro. I will look through GoogleBooks for another source though.
- 5 - ambaile.org.uk is website associated with the Highland (council area). I don't think there is any reason to consider it unreliable. The ref is just used to show when the particular image was first published, since the pic i used was from a book published in 1900, but McIan first published this image around 1848 (this isn't even remotely controversial).
- 6 - The official Burkes Peerage website. Definitely reliable for info on people with titles and the like. It lists all the recognised Scottish clan chiefs, and even the Commander of Clan Macfie.
- 7 - The Mcduffie DNA project website. Closely associated, and sanctioned with Clan Macfie. The most reliable site to get details on their DNA project.
- 8 - Peronal website - an issue. But this ref is just for the blazon of the crest within the crest badge. This was the only ref which i could find that actual spelt out the blazon. You can easily see what the crest looks like by visiting the Clan Macfie website and this blazon is obviously the correct blazon. A demi-lion rampant, proper = see Charge (heraldry) for demi-lion (a lion with "only the forward half of a beast is shown"), rampant ("standing on left hind foot other feet raised to fight"), see Tincture (heraldry) for proper (in this case proper means the lion is red). I just searched google for another site to get a ref for this blazon and found this - http://www.celticstudio.com/CelticStudio/database/clans/079.htm - which doesn't appear to be a personal website.
- 9 - The official Clan Cameron website. A good place to find information on the clan badge of Clan Cameron. (fixed link).
- 10 - Website of Clan Maclean Atlantic Canada, a Clan MacLean association website. It is one of the two association websites linked from the main Clan MacLean website (maclean.org). Couldn't actually find a ref for the clan badge on the main website.
- 11 - The official Clan Cameron website. The best source for an official list of Clan Cameron associated names and septs.--Celtus (talk) 12:29, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
Still a long way to go. Noble Story (talk) 14:12, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]''Clan Macfie is a Scottish clan, officially registered with Lyon Court since 1981. "
What is the Lyon Court?
- I changed this into two sentences: Clan Macfie is a Scottish clan. Since 1981, the clan has been officially registered with the Court of the Lord Lyon, which is the heraldic authority of Scotland.--Celtus (talk) 07:59, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"The clan is considered an Armigerous clan as it is currently without a chief."
What is an Armigerous clan?
- I changed this into: The clan is considered an armigerous clan because even though the clan is recognised by the Court of the Lord Lyon, it is currently without a chief recognised by the Lord Lyon King of Arms, the judge of the Court of the Lord Lyon.--Celtus (talk) 07:59, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"Little is known of the early history of the clan, though it is certain the clan served under the Lords of the Isles."
Who are the Lords of the Isles? Or more specifically, Lord of what Isles?
- I changed this bit into two sentences: Little is known of the early history of the clan. However, is certain that the clan served under the Lords of the Isles - descendants of Somerled, who ruled the Hebrides from the 14th century to the late 16th century.--Celtus (talk) 07:59, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
History
[edit]"Martin, in his A Description of the Western Isles of Scotland of 1703, wrote that on the south side of the church of St. Columba on Oronsay, were the tombstones of MacDuffie and the cadets of his family."
This is the first mention of "MacDuffie". Why is he relevant to the clan? Or perhaps I should say, you should mention that the surname is linked to the Macfie surname, as I think that is the explanation. But for an unknowing reader, Macduffie and Macfie don't seem related at all.
- OK. I changed this setence to: Martin, in his A Description of the Western Isles of Scotland of 1703, wrote that on the south side of the church of St. Columba on Oronsay, were the tombstones of MacDuffie (or Macfie, a former chief of the clan) and the cadets of his family.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
- Plus, I edited the lead a bit, saying that although the official clan name is Macfie there are various ways to spell the name in English.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"Of the stones, one is to the memory of Murchardus M'Duffie, who died in 1539."
"M'duffie" would be a contraction of "Macduffie", correct? However, I think that according to the MoS, contractions shouldn't be used. So, unless there is a specific reason to use them, then you should spell out the whole name in all instances.
- Done. I changed three cases where that appeared. One other i left because it was in quoted.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
Last in a line of chiefs
[edit]"During this time the two feuded and it seems Macfie was chased across the island as several of his apparent hiding places bear his name."
It seems? Are you not sure? In which case, I think you can take it out if you're not sure.
- I used "seems" because of the way the source phrased it - judging from the placenames that Macfie was chased across the island. I have reworded this and a few sentences. One new ref appears to be a personal website, but it is only used for an English translation of the hiding place "leab' fhalaich Mhic a Phì" which the main ref for the paragraph actually doesn't translate.
"According to the clan's website, the chief was then tied to a stone and summarily shot."
Do you need to say "according to the clan's website"?
- Done. It was used it to distinguish this from the lore described in the previous sentences. I have removed it.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"The clan website states that a Macfie (of Clan Cameron) was one of the two pipers at Glenfinnan, when on August 19, 1745 Charles Edward Stuart (Bonnie Prince Charlie) raised his standard and claimed both the Scottish and English throne in the name of his father James Francis Edward Stuart (The Old Pretender)."
Do you need to say "The clan website states"? And do you need to include the two men's nicknames?
- Done. I figured reader would know these two by their popular names than by their full ones. I removed them.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
Macphee the outlaw
[edit]"An account of Macphee was recorded in Gaelic gatherings, or the Highlanders at Home on heather, river and loch and Place-Names of Glengarry and Glenquoich."
What was the account recorded in? A book, a document, or what?
- They are both books, and were mentioned in the references i used, but now i wonder if this really needs to be included at all. I will just remove this sentence.
"Macphee was said to have been an able soldier but he soon deserted the Army and fled to his native Glengarry, where he hid living in Feddan with his sister."
You say he feld to Glengarry, but lived in Feddan?
- Feddan is place located in Glengarry. I made a footnote giving a definition of what Feddan means in Gaelic and a reference to it on the Clan Cameron website.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"Ewen Macphee lived for two years around the shores of Loch Arkaig before building a bothy on a small island in Loch Quoich, which has since bore his name: Eilen Mhic Phee (translation from Scottish Gaelic: MacPhee's Island)."
"Born", not "bore".
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"Macphee, himself believed he had supernatural powers, cattle were brought to him to be cured, and he also weaved charms."
No comma needed after the name. And this sentence seems like a run-on.
- . I rearranged the sentence: Macphee believed himself to have supernatural powers, he weaved charms and cattle were brought to him to be cured. The healing of the cattle has to do with his supernatural abilities.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"As the years past neighbouring shepherds finally decided to put an end to Macphee's sheep stealing, and the sheriff sent two officers to confront Macphee."
He stole sheep? You didn't mention that before.
- OK got it. His sheep stealing is now mentioned near the beginning of the paragraph. LOL, "stole sheep" justs sounds so funny.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"A week later an armed party was then sent and Ewen Macphee was finally arrested and taken to prison where he died."
Comma after prison. After how much later after he was taken to prison did he die?
- Comma, check. Not sure when he died, the ref just says that is where he "eventually died". I noticed UndiscoveredScotland's article on him says "imprisoned to await trial in Fort William where, shortly afterwards, he died". I'm not sure what to put.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"A search of his island revealed that "bales upon bales of tallow and skins were found hidden in the loch under the banks of the island."
Relevance?
- Done, removed.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
The modern clan
[edit]"In 1864 the first Macfies to have a registered Coat of Arms were Robert Macfie of Langhouse and Airds and Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn, when their Arms were registered in the Public Register of All Arms and Bearings in Scotland."
Comma after the date.
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
"In 1864 the first Macfies to have a registered Coat of Arms were Robert Macfie of Langhouse and Airds and Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn, when their Arms were registered in the Public Register of All Arms and Bearings in Scotland. The two men were highly successful businessmen in the sugar industry. The modern Clan MacFie crest is derived from the Coat of Arms of Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn."
How about a little combining to help the sentences flow better, and connect the information better?
- OK. I changed it to: In 1864, the first Macfies to have coats of arms registered in the Public Register of All Arms and Bearings in Scotland were Robert Macfie of Langhouse and Airds and Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn - two highly successful businessmen in the sugar industry.[1] The heraldic crest within the clan's crest badge is actually derived from the heraldic crest on the coat of arms of Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn.
"On May 10, 1977, the Macfie Standing Stone on Balaruminmore on Colonsay was dedicated as a memorial to the last chief of the clan who was executed against it in 1623."
Comma after "clan".
- Done.--Celtus (talk) 08:01, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
Clan profile
[edit]"Scottish crest badges are used by clan members to show their allegiance to their clan and chief. Much like clan tartans, crest badges owe their popularity to Victorian romanticism. Crest badges are heraldic badges which usually contain the heraldic crest of the clan chief, encircled with a buckle containing the chief's heraldic motto."
If there's a red link, fix it or unlink it.
- Removed two redlinks.--Celtus (talk) 08:08, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
Noble Story (talk) 14:06, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
More comments
[edit]OK, here are some general comments:
- I really think that the "History" section doesn't really cover what it's supposed to. You give some names of random Macfies, and that's it. I (the reader) want to know about the clan. Like, what did the clan do? What about its leaders?
- I think that "Last in a line of chiefs" can be maybe just merged with "Fall of the clan".
- If Ewen Macphee needs his own sub-section, then he should probably have his own article then.
Noble Story (talk) 14:21, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
- OK, I understand how the history is pretty thin, the article includes almost every last nugget of verifiable clan info i could come up with. I thought it was ok, from judging the websites on this clan, but now i see that really we could do a much better job with the history. It is too fragmented and could be filled out much better. The 'random Macfies' are obviously not random, but the most prominent members of the clan of their time. The sub-sections are to break down the article into easily digestible chunks. Thanks for criticisms and for spending the time improving the article.--Celtus (talk) 08:27, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
- Any advances on improving the history part. I'm hovering over whether to pass this or keep on hold. However, I think that the history section still needs to be improved. Noble Story (talk) 03:27, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
- I won't be able to get it much better in the next couple days, so i don't have a problem if you fail it. I'm certain this thing can be improved but not in a short while.--Celtus (talk) 07:39, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
- I think that would be best at this point... Noble Story (talk) 11:09, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
- I won't be able to get it much better in the next couple days, so i don't have a problem if you fail it. I'm certain this thing can be improved but not in a short while.--Celtus (talk) 07:39, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
Survey
[edit]WP:Good article usage is a survey of the language and style of Wikipedia editors in articles being reviewed for Good article nomination. It will help make the experience of writing Good Articles as non-threatening and satisfying as possible if all the participating editors would take a moment to answer a few questions for us, in this section please. The survey will end on April 30.
- Would you like any additional feedback on the writing style in this article?
- If you write a lot outside of Wikipedia, what kind of writing do you do?
- Is your writing style influenced by any particular WikiProject or other group on Wikipedia?
At any point during this review, let us know if we recommend any edits, including markup, punctuation and language, that you feel don't fit with your writing style. Thanks for your time. - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes) 03:39, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Clan Macfie/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Pyrotec (talk) 17:36, 20 February 2011 (UTC)
- I will review. Pyrotec (talk) 17:36, 20 February 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks. Note: the main contributing editor, Celtus, has retired. I'll do my best to fill in. Yours ever, Czar Brodie (talk) 10:34, 21 February 2011 (UTC)
- Noted. Sorry, but it is now likely to be Friday or Saturday before comments start to appear from me. Pyrotec (talk) 22:32, 23 February 2011 (UTC)
- no rush, my editing is sporadic so may also have delays. Yours ever, Czar Brodie (talk) 09:21, 24 February 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks. Note: the main contributing editor, Celtus, has retired. I'll do my best to fill in. Yours ever, Czar Brodie (talk) 10:34, 21 February 2011 (UTC)
Inital comments
[edit]By now I have a quick read through of the article. I looks to be at or about GA level, so I will not be "quick failing" it.
I'm now going to work my way through the article in more detail and just note any "problems" that I see, starting from the first section through to the end; and then do the WP:Lead last. This may take a couple of days: but if a don't find any problems in a particular section/subsection I might not make any comments on it here. I will produce an overall summary at the end to cover everything. Pyrotec (talk) 21:08, 27 February 2011 (UTC)
Most of the problems appear to be farily "trival" in the individual effort needed, but I suspect that there will a quite a few. Pyrotec (talk) 14:00, 28 February 2011 (UTC)
- History -
- Pyrotec (talk) 20:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC) - The first paragraph contains a mixture of one direct quotation by and summaries of the writings of W. F. Skene: which appear to be covered by ref 5 (used once in that paragraph). The direct quotation needs its own citation.
- Done. Czar Brodie (talk) 13:39, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks. Pyrotec (talk) 20:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
- Ref 10 is quoted as a web page, but is actually a book that is out of copyright. Its not properly cited, i.e there is no acknowledgment of the author, publisher, etc. I suggest that you use {{cite book}} and include the current link as "|url=".
- Done; Note the web version appears to be a copy of This version (1934) from an original book published (written?) circa 1695, copy found here. Czar Brodie (talk) 14:15, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
- Not quite. Its now in References; and I'm happy with that. The original citation (10) has not changed, i.e. "10. a b A Description of the Western Isles of Scotland (circa 1695). http://www.appins.org/martin.htm. Retrieved 28 August 2007." It either need to be expanded to a full reference or made into a Harvnb reference, such as (11). Pyrotec (talk) 20:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
- Fall of the clan, Macphee the outlaw -
- These subsections look OK.
....to be continued. Pyrotec (talk) 14:10, 28 February 2011 (UTC)
- The modern clan -
- Pyrotec (talk) 21:05, 3 March 2011 (UTC) - In general this subsection is compliant, however both references 36 and 37 are flagged up as {{dead link}}s, so are not WP:verifiable. It's some time since they were accessed and there seems to have been some "link rot". Pyrotec (talk) 21:00, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
- Done. Relinked (and re reference) to new sites. Plenty of clan sites dealing with the same subject. Czar Brodie (talk) 16:31, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
- Sorry for the detail, I took a day off. Pyrotec (talk) 21:05, 3 March 2011 (UTC)
- Clan profile , Associated clans and names & WP:Lead -
- These three sections look OK.
Overall summary
[edit]GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
A well-referenced, well-illustrated article.
- Is it reasonably well written?
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
I'm awarding this article GA-status. Thanks for resolving my "actions" promply and congratulations on acheiving GA. Pyrotec (talk) 21:33, 3 March 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for reviewing the article and giving GA status. Yours ever, Czar Brodie (talk) 10:41, 4 March 2011 (UTC)
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External links modified
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