Talk:HMS Glenmore (1796)/GA1
Latest comment: 1 month ago by Ykraps in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Nominator: Ykraps (talk · contribs) 10:20, 1 June 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 13:42, 2 June 2024 (UTC)
I'll take a look at this shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:42, 2 June 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks. I look forward to hearing your comments. --Ykraps (talk) 16:51, 3 June 2024 (UTC)
- @Pickersgill-Cunliffe: are you coming back to this? --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 17 June 2024 (UTC)
- Yes, just a busy time at work right now. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 18:47, 17 June 2024 (UTC)
Prelim
edit- No duplicated links
- Image correctly licensed
- Article is stable
- Earwig reports copyvio unlikely
Lede and infobox
edit- Suggest adding the number of guns in the first line of the lede, e.g. "36-gun Amazon-class frigate"
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Link 18-pounder long gun in lede and infobox
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- You switch between using "pounder" and "pdr", suggest only using one version for consistency throughout the article
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:32, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Suggest "Amiable drove off"
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Link truss
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Considering the size of the article I think that the lede is a tad long. The final paragraph on the mutiny could be shortened to provide slightly less detail on, for example, the exact disciplined meted out
- I've trimmed a bit but I'm keen to keep it a full summary of the article. --Ykraps (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Probably worth mentioning the French Revolutionary Wars early in the lede just to make it very obvious what we're relating the Peace of Amiens to
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:37, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- I believe it's normal to link the "in" in "in ordinary" as well (phew, that's a lot of ins!)
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:37, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- The date of order is only mentioned in the lede, not in main text
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:37, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Ibid John Tovey, launch date
- Added launch date to main body. John Tovey? --Ykraps (talk) 19:19, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- You have John Tovey as the master shipwright in the infobox but he isn't mentioned in main text. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 20:40, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks. Added. --Ykraps (talk) 05:08, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
- Give the exact date of sale in the lede, as you do have it
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Remove trailing zeros in measurements, e.g. 143 ft 0 in (43.6 m) becomes 143 ft (43.6 m)
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:12, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Add spaces after the colons in the infobox
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
- Link keel and gundeck in infobox
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:12, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
Hi @Pickersgill-Cunliffe:, Do you have anything else to add? --Ykraps (talk) 07:53, 23 June 2024 (UTC)
Design and construction
edit- "was 36-gun sailing frigate" missing word here
- Added.--Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Link frigate on first mention
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "One of four Amazon-class ships..." Very abrupt sentence. Perhaps "She was one..."?
- Rewritten. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Move 18-pounder long gun link to first mention and link 12-pounder long gun
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Link Naiad
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "had a complement of 284 men" As Glenmore's complement isn't mentioned in main text it makes it difficult to understand the context/comparison for this stat
- Added.--Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "Work began in March" the last date in text was for her launch in March 1796, suggest moving this paragraph to before that point in the narrative
- Moved launch date to after instead. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Expand out the "pdr"s in the last paragraph
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
Career
edit- "seargent" sp
- I prefer to think of it as typo. ;) Changed. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "for further instructions" from who?
- The leaders of the mutiny. Added. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- A word or two on the reasoning for the mutiny/terms agreed upon would be useful context
- I've done what I think is reasonable without simply listing the demands and noting which were accepted/rejected. If you want more detail, let me know. --Ykraps (talk) 18:15, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
- "August 1798" repeated year
- Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Try not to begin paragraphs with dates to avoid it reading like a timeline/diary
- I've reduced the number of times I've done but am struggling to irradicate completely without leaving a lot of sentences beginning "Glenmore" or similar. --Ykraps (talk) 18:15, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
- Give Aimable's ship type as you usually do
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Link French Guyana
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:36, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "Sirène Citoyen Reignaud, captain" Awkward phrasing
- Rewritten. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Link trusses
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "later in the year" needs a capital
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:32, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "Captain Duff" repeated rank
- Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 17:31, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Link John Talbot
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:21, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- When does the second mutiny happen? You say "early in May" but date the first action to 5 June
- Things came to a head in June. The oath would have been sworn sometime in May, and the petition to Lord Gardner, signed on 2 May, contained the phrase "...for we can never think of going to sea under the command of Captain Talbot again". Both these actions would likely be held as mutinous. I have rewritten to remove confusion. --Ykraps (talk) 17:30, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Link boatswain's
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:21, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "The punishments were then carried out" Do we know what they were?
- The floggings referred to in the previous sentence. --Ykraps (talk) 17:21, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "15 May 1801" Repeated year
- Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "Lloyd's List (LL)" don't need the acronym, isn't used elsewhere
- Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "They and Urania all arrived at Cork" Any dates for this or the previous captures?
- I'm afraid not. Sources available only note when they arrived in port. --Ykraps (talk) 19:32, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "June 1801" Repeated year
- Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "set light" Suggest the more obvious "set on fire"
- Changed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "June 1802" repeated year
- Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- "July 1802" ibid
- Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Choose whether to prefix British ships with HMS, but try not to mix between the two styles
- Fixed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Italicise Glenmore in the fate section - as this is so short suggest adding it the end of career rather than splitting it into its own section
- Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
- Article is long enough that it would benefit from some more images. Difficult to find relevant ship images, so what about some variation of File:Admiral John Maitland (1771–1836).jpg, File:Captain George Duff (1764–1805).jpg, File:Robert Seppings (1767-1840), by William Bradley.jpg, and/or File:Vice-Admiral Lord Alan Gardner (1742-1809), by William Beechey.jpg?
- I've added Seppings and Duff. Adding anything else causes text sandwiching on my screen. --Ykraps (talk) 18:15, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
References
edit- References look good. AGF for print sources
@Ykraps: Hi, I got there...eventually! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 21:27, 30 June 2024 (UTC)
- @Pickersgill-Cunliffe: Please review my edits/replies to see if you want to add anything else. --Ykraps (talk) 18:18, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
- @Ykraps: Passing this as satisfying the GA criteria. One article from the good topic! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 09:55, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- I've been rumbled! Yes, Amazon-class frigate (1795) is already at GAN. --Ykraps (talk) 12:45, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- @Ykraps: Passing this as satisfying the GA criteria. One article from the good topic! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 09:55, 6 July 2024 (UTC)