Talk:Joe Shield/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 16:51, 4 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 04:48, 23 May 2024 (UTC)

I will review this. Template:LunaEatsTunaSig (talk), posted at 04:48, 23 May 2024 (UTC)

Done; over to you! I like your writing style BTW; it reminds me of a modern version of User:Thebiguglyalien's current writing style for some reason. Template:LunaEatsTunaSig (talk), posted at 11:48, 25 May 2024 (UTC)

Da review:

Early life

• "In high school, Shield" > "During his time there, Shield" – flows better.
• I would wikilink most valuable player since it seems relevant enough, but I'll leave it up to you.
• How about "and helped lead the team to two consecutive appearances in the state championship game, winning in 1978" – sounds better.
• To better connect the last two sentences change the last one to "He then continued his education and participation in baseball and football at Worcester Academy in Massachusetts."

College career

• "Shield attended Trinity College" > "Shield attended Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut" so that it is consistent with the other mentions of schools.
• Wikilink passing yards.
• "56%" > "56 percent" – for some reason (WP:PERCENT).
• Because refs 4 and 5 are identical you should only keep the first and do pages = C1, C8 (or, alternatively, you can make the url = the first page and only do the external link for page C8).

Professional career

• "Over 100 people, including family and friends" – I am being pedantic but "Over 100 people, including his family and friends".
• "Shield was released" – I would use he here since Shield was just used as the last word in the previous sentence.

Others

• (Optional) recommended adding template:use X English if applicable/known.

Spotcheck

• All good; passes on refs 1, 2, 5, 9 and 15.
  • Thanks for the review LunaEatsTuna. I believe I have addressed all your comments, except about refs 4 and 5. This is just my standard way of citing newspaper articles that go from one page to another. I do this so that a unique archive link can be generated for each url. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:48, 26 May 2024 (UTC)
    • You are most welcome :) Sure, that sounds fine. I am ready to pass this fantastic article for GA status. Congrats! Template:LunaEatsTunaSig (talk), posted at 22:19, 28 May 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.